I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
OPIZZABONMYDICK
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
