I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
