So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
