hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
