Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
