When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
