This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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