Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
