Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
