Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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