you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize