He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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