I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
