If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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