And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
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