Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
