im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
