Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
