who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Sober January is a disaster.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Randomize
