apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
