Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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