I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
