it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
