i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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