are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
