Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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