Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
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He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
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You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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