so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
