He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
The best revenge is premature balding
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Randomize
