is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
