Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
