Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
