Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
