8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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