Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
3 2 1 whiskey
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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