Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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