your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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