Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
