as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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