What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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