Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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