Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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