It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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