I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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