fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
