they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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