Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
