I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
