my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
