Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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