so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
