Nicole vs. Life
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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