You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
