Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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