Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Randomize
