I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
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I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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