i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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