sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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