I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
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I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
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Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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