He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
