State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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