I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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